“The true self does not need to be defended.It just needs to be expressed.”
As my clients walk into my office and sit at the small table, I pay attention to their reaction and body language. Often seeing slumped shoulders as they shift nervously in their seat and stare at their folded hands rather than make eye contact with me.
Within minutes of beginning our session, I start to see their transformation. Bodies start to relax, shoulders go back, eye contact comes easily and enthusiasm slowly starts to show. Why the sudden shift? I begin each session with “Tell me about yourself? And, What makes you happy? I ask these two questions because I truly want to make a connection with the person I’m sitting next to. The questions catches people off guard because they aren’t used to having someone take such a vested interest in what they have to say.
As they share their life stories with me, I lean in close, listening intensely to their every word – giving them my undivided attention. In no time I learn about their dreams, pains, fears and vulnerabilities and in return I give them the gift in sharing with them the real me – understanding who they are and also sharing with them my fears and vulnerabilites. By the end of our session together, I have earned their trust and friendships are established.
I’m able to get people to open up and be themselves because I show them my true self. By being real, I give others the freedom to be real and truthful back to me. No pretenses, no smoke, no mirrors, no ulterior motives – just clean, clear communication from the heart and soul.
I have faith and trust in who I am – I never project something that I’m not. To be real and true to myself means total freedom to be exactly who I am. I live my life speaking and acting in truth.
Who we are speaks more loudly than what we say
One of the most liberating things in the world is to know yourself, like yourself and be yourself. Being true to who you are is the ultimate freedom you can give yourself. It means that you are being clear about what you value in life.
Being real means being present – open in vulnerable ways without roles or masks or expectations of any kind. When we remove our masks, we then begin to tune into our true feelings, perspectives and passions in life. We discover with clarity what we want and don’t want.
It takes courage to take off the disguise protecting you and to let your true colors shine. This is one of the most honorable and rewarding actions a person can decide to take in life.
Be brave and speak your truth boldly; Deal with conflicts directly; Express your emotions fully. Be vulnerable and real about what you think and how you feel. By doing so gives you access to real freedom and power.
We can’t go wrong when we’re ourselves, because nobody does “us” as well as we do.